I wasn't entirely sure on the logic behind the bringing together of rodeo, burnouts, comp trucks, motocross and hard enduro.
But then I figured it out.
I am pretty sure that the organisers of the 2024 Live At The Hayshed Woodstock just wanted to set the record for greatest number of ways to tighten a spectator's sphincter in one event.
I could be wrong, but it would be reasonable to imagine that, like me, the average adrenaline junkie is generally satisfied with a "hit" from one sport; their preferred poison if you like.
You'd think horse people are into horse things, bike people are into bike things and car people are into car things. Right?
Wrong!!!
Only when you get the opportunity to go to an event like Woodstock, do you realise that so many people can be into so much mad stuff.
And while you are there you also realise that, with so much manic action going on, your sphincter can tighten so much it'll make your eyes water until your colon cracks from desiccation.
From the elevated platforms I was able to access as a competitor, I witnessed the crowds drift and surge like a seething flock from one supercharged arena to another and, in the masses, there seemed to be no compartmentalization of passion.
Everybody seemed to want to see everything. Cowfolk connoisseurs, hard wired MXers, skid pan freaks, and Comp Truck nutters all stood shoulder to shoulder as if each were disciples of all disciplines.
The single common element? That inability of the crowd to look away despite the intensity of the spectacle before them: drifters smoked in fury on the limiter, comp trucks thundered into obstacles, MX riders flew over doubles and rodeo riders held rank for 8 seconds of torture.
And beyond the spectacle, I actually learned a thing or three that I simply did not know thanks to mates that I met in the crowd.
I’d often wondered how a Bronco or Bull rider that saddles a beast that behaves like it has a red hot poker up its date has any hope of winning against a fellow competitor that happens to saddle a Ferdinand. Well, as it happens it is not just the rider that gets judged. Half the points go to the stead, so you can’t win if your ride does not put on a decent show. Who knew?
To see the broncos go full tilt was alarming, the bull riding was absolutely next level, but watching the rodeo riders barreling out of the chute and throwing themselves off perfectly well-behaved horses onto properly obnoxious little steers, that had extremely sharp horns, to me seemed a little extreme.
On the burnouts? Well, a perfect run involves launching out of the chute at a ridiculous speed with a car that has sufficient berries to get the wheels smoking within 15m of the gate. That speed, wheel spin and car control, all at consistent revs on the limiter must be carried to the point where both tyres blow in quick succession. Go static on the pan for more than five seconds and you’re toast! Sounds simple enough, yeah? Yeah right!
Comp trucks is all about timing through the obstacle circuit and the ability to negotiate the insane boulder climb without defaulting to a winch to get you there. Traction and horsepower – I’ve quite simply never seen anything quite like it.
For WHES, it was all about bringing the sport to a new audience.
By about 10am Saturday Wickert, McCarthy and the boys had built quite a nice little play pen for the WHES riders. When the bobcat backed out ALL the lads stepped in to throw themselves and their bikes at the obstacles.
The barrier bunting holding the crowds at bay did leave a little to be desired as I found out when I cocked a double step-up over the tractor tyres and tested the torque on the sphincters of a couple of lads sucking bush chooks by the sideline.
Ever the entertainers, man-down meant no mercy and every time a rider and bike hit the deck it was stacks on, with the victim covered in dust, filth, snot and rocks by their cohort before they could even catch their breath.
Once WHES was let out of our play-pen things got a little more variable. We ran the comp truck circuit which was pretty much a mild version of Mildwood Super-enduro circuit. It certainly wasn’t a surprise to discover that the course was not set up for bikes. But WHES riders don’t stand on ceremony, so we all gave it a good hard crack. Unfortunately, the obstacle of choice was concrete railway sleepers and hitting those with “gummys over mousse” wasn’t particularly sensible.
Nevertheless, all was going swimmingly until HBG popped a log and then burried the front end of the new VA Technic Gasser in a rut he didn't see. Over the bars had him off the bike for a bit, but the BFG was back into it among all his buddies for the crescendo; the boulder rock hill that had hung almost all of the Comp Trucks out to dry.
Parked up at the base for most of the day, we were tripping over our own jaws watching the Woodstock Offroad Challenge comp trucks power up this slope; grinding subframes and burning rubber as they tractored over rocks the size of a washing machine. I could see the lads wiping dribble from their bottom lips as they patiently waited to be let in the gate so they could have a crack.
They all threw themselves well hard at that slope; even some of the Bronze class riders and newcomers. I saw newbie Thanh Tonkin, throw his Husky so hard at that hill I am pretty sure it bounced back further downslope than it went up.
Everyone got into it and the crowd were loving it.
It was all looking quite the challenge until eventually it clicked for Halen Wickert who just picked the prime line from bottom to top-no stop. After that he, Jakob Petrig and Peter Mountain all started to make it look just a little too easy.
And trust me when I say that the shenanigans didn't stop when the bikes were put to bed. Spectators and competitors alike kicked on hard to the wee small hours, despite the mud and rain.
Pleased to say Twist was not there to witness the aftermath, but we are fairly certain both we and WHES will be back next year.
And thanks to Always an Adventure Photography for the insane Comp Truck snaps!
Comments